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Two of the myths I have disputed – that suicide occurs on a whim, and that people have no future life plans on the day of their death by suicide – taken together, imply clearly that people who are about to die by suicide may look very much like they always have, very much like you or me. Given what happens to the bodies of suicide decedents – sometimes very disturbing and graphic – many people reason backward and assume that someone whose end point is so tragic must have appeared thus in the minutes and hours leading up to the death. But this is not at all necessarily so.
In fact, many of the examples described throughout this book are of people who appeared as they usually did to others before their deaths. The high school president who gave a rousing speech to those connected to the school, then jumped to his death hours later, gave no sign of his impending death. Former president Clinton’s friend and aide Vince Foster saw many people on the day of his death by suicide, including his wife and people with whom he worked closely; none noted a change in his usual appearance. Newscaster Christine Chubbuck, whose death occurred on the air, did not give clear clues about her suicidal plans, certainly not with her physical appearance. A local politician in Pennsylvania who was under some suspicion for wrongdoing called a press conference to address the issues, pulled a gun during the press conference, and died by self-inflicted gunshot wound in front of the assembled press. His appearance gave no hint as to what was about to happen. In her compelling memoir about bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney wrote regarding her plan for suicide, “I’d already carefully laid out what I was going to wear as my farewell attire: A long black cashmere dress – not to be macabre, but because cashmere would never wrinkle and black would hide any unexpected blood or vomit” (p. 8). Indeed, like Cheney, there are many people who dress particularly well for their deaths by suicide.
Many people who dress well for their suicides tended to dress well for most things during their lives – the principle being that they are ongoing behavioural tendencies that pervade much of what people do. As noted in another section, people who had anger problems throughout their lives may, when planning their death by suicide, express anger in their deaths. This does not mean that suicide is about anger; it only means that people with anger issues may express anger in many things they do, including death by suicide. Similarly, those who dress well in life may dress well in planning their suicides.
Following the same logic, those who did not care for their appearance throughout some or most of their lives may appear unkempt or haggard in the hours or days preceding their deaths by suicide. Suicide is a common form of death among those who are addicted to heroin, for instance. Many heroin addicts had looked unkempt for years preceding their deaths by suicide, simply as a function of their lifestyle.
It is important to reiterate that warning signs for suicide do clearly exist. The clearest ones of all are when people say or otherwise indicate that they are about to die by suicide. Though not quite as clear, if a person who usually dresses well and appears well groomed suddenly does not, this of course suggests something is amiss. Yet appearing well dressed and well groomed does not clearly indicate that someone is safe from suicide. As the deaths of the private school president and Christine Chubbuck show, a person’s physical appearance can be the same (even better than usual in some instances), and the person can still die by suicide seconds, minutes, or hours later.